Connoisseur of TP?
Posted by Dory @ Lucky Dorito on Saturday, November 22nd, 2008
Have you ever thought much about toilet paper? We all use it. (or so I surely HOPE!) We all purchase it. We all panic and run out to the store at ungodly hours of the night if we find ourselves OUT of it. (Or we send our hubby’s out to do it for us!) 
They devote an entire aisle to it at Wal-Mart, with different thickness and softness and durability. How is one to decide? Do you pick a single ply or a double ply thickness? And then…. do you prefer a double roll so that the frequency of finding yourself looking at the empty cardboard roll comes less often? I mean – good golly, the choices are endless!
What about that crazy statement Sheryl Crow made last year, saying*but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required.*
Hello??? I’m all for going Green too but …. some things are sacred! Are you KIDDING me?? ONE SQUARE?
At the office, we usually purchase in bulk – some really thin tissue paper, each roll individually wrapped in a paper cover. And…. believe me when I say – it stinks. It’s too thin and rough and basically, pretty crappy. (No pun intended)
But this week, by some sheer miracle of God, we got the GOOD stuff. The really good stuff! Woo-stinkin-hoo! I marveled over its luxuriousness each and every time I used it. It was just so different than what we usually have. Heavenly. 
It’s just all about the little things in life, is it not?
It might even be nicer than the toilet paper we use at home. In our fairly old home, we use the best that our decrepit pipes will allow without constantly clogging the lines. So it’s decent enough but it’s not heavenly.
I wanted to tell the boss, *I thank you. My runny nose thanks you. Even my hiney thanks you. * But…. I thought he might fall over in shock to hear me say that so…. I kept it to myself. Well, and you guys. 
What does it say about a person when they get so excited over toilet paper?
I hope you’re not too offended because…. I’ve sorta been thinking about other weird random stuff that you might be seeing in the near future, like dog farts and boobs. Obviously I need a vacation.
P.S. Remember to send me your favorite Thanksgiving Traditions for the upcoming contest!
It’s simple…. just tell me what you DO on Thanksgiving. Anything goes!
Do you eat and watch football? Do you play games? Do you *group nap*? Do you watch movies? Do you play Trivial Pursuit? or Wii?? Do you all sit around and pick your toes?
Maybe you have a favorite platter or dish that you only use for the big Thanksgiving feast.
Or maybe you have your grandma’s yummy cornbread dressing recipe that you use year after year.
Just whatever screams *Thanksgiving* to YOU is what I want to know!
Filed in Just plain funny,NaBloPoMo,Randomness,Weirdness in my world | 12 dorito bits so far
Shannonon 22 Nov 2008 at 8:25 am 1LOL Good toliet paper is a true blessing and NOT at all a silly thing to be thankful for. You are too funny and I love you my friend!
WHWon 22 Nov 2008 at 9:48 am 2A beautiful post. Brought a tear or two to my eyes. We really can’t think too much about TP….in my opinion.
Tracieon 22 Nov 2008 at 9:57 am 3HaHa! You’re a hoot!
Stacyon 22 Nov 2008 at 10:01 am 4I am not sure what to even say to this post….LOL
I don’t often think about toilet paper, we have one brand that we use regularly. It is soft and works for us.
qualcosa di belloon 22 Nov 2008 at 11:17 am 5you speak the truth about this underrated stuff!! (can’t wait to read a dog fart post…we get a lot of that around here…)
Beccaon 22 Nov 2008 at 12:34 pm 6We buy the really good stuff, in bulk of course, at Costco. You know the one that has Charm in the name? Yeah, that stuff! I love soft toilet paper!
You come up with the funniest thoughts!
Love ya! Have fun today!
Jenon 22 Nov 2008 at 1:05 pm 7Wanna know something horrible about me?
I buy the nice, soft, ripply Cottonelle for me & Trav’s bathroom and buy whatever is on sale for the kid’s bathroom.
Have you ever seen how much toilet paper a boy uses in one “sitting?”
Aprilon 22 Nov 2008 at 1:05 pm 8I find that Scott brand TP is the best, not too soft, not too rough either:) Great post…Now for our Thanksgiving tradition: We’re probably like most folks, one thing we do is try to incorporate something different each year, we eat the traditional Thanksgiving meal, turkey, cranberry sauce, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, pies…We usually will throw in a new recipe or two, like making our own cranberry sauce, frying the turkey, etc. During the meal we usually try to go around the table and tell what we’re thankful for. Football is of course on, naps are taken, board games are played, and a mess is made!
megon 22 Nov 2008 at 2:52 pm 9This is one area where I will not skimp~ the Queen’s hiney deserves comfort!
Thanksgiving to me…usually means I’m sick. Seriously. In 45 yrs, I’ve only had maybe a dozen that I didn’t have a cold
In our family, it was sparkling apple cider, pecan pie, & the annual debate over gravy with or without giblets.
We’ve also had the family traditions of herding all the strays- people with no family nearby or a place to have dinner- to the giant dining room table for Thanksgiving. After dinner, but before dessert, each guest has to perform something for the group– a song, a joke, a story, whatever they wish.
Anndawgon 22 Nov 2008 at 6:20 pm 10That was Terry’s last nice thing she ordered before leaving us behind! That was the least she could do. I am crying, just mentioning her name!
Dory @ Lucky Doritoon 23 Nov 2008 at 10:09 am 11@Anndawg She left us with AWESOME tp? On purpose? LOL She wanted all our hineys to be happy since she knew we’d be sad with her moving! Small consolation prize but hey! I’ll take it! lol
Jeanon 23 Nov 2008 at 11:44 pm 12I’ve insisted on “the good stuff” since I had surgery on that delicate area.. no cheap stuff for me!!LOL
On Thanksgiving, we all get together, eat too much, then the men “group nap” in front of the game, while the women all play games.. like zilch, aggrevation, Yachtzee.. whatever, and visit and catch up!
hugs,
Jean