Lucky Dorito

Just because I need a diversion from the recent stressors in my life, I thought I’d share a few random memories today:

1) My daughters had to come to my office one day to just “hang out” for the afternoon because of a babysitting conflict. I asked my boss prior to going to get them and he said “Sure, we’ll put ‘em to work! Got some really good surgical cases this afternoon - they can assist!” (KIDDING, of course. Dental humor…)
Anyway, my youngest routinely cracks me up, as you know by now. She has the funniest expressions and the stuff she says… oh heavens! Like living with a miniature comedian all the time! I never get tired of recounting her stories… I hope you aren’t tired of hearing them! But really…. I don’t care if you are or not - I need a way to preserve the memory (since I’m a true Dory by nature) and this is it!
So I was finishing up with a patient and she appears in the doorway, motioning for me to “come here”.

I motioned to “wait a sec” and finished speaking to my patient. I was about to get up and go find the doctor for the exam anyway… so as I got to the hallway, she said, “I need you.”

“What do you need?” I asked.

“I need you to go to the bathroom with me.” she said.

“You know where the bathroom is - you can go by yourself,” I said to her.

Adamantly she replied,”NO Mom…. you have to come with me.”

(I might need to mention here that she was traumatized a lonngggg time ago by those toilets with automatic flushing sensors when she thought one tried to suck her in! She is now scared of toilets. Even normal flushing ones. Bizarre.

So I go the restroom with her. Geez…. Anyway, she’s sitting and I’m standing there, leaning against the wall - reviewing a mental checklist of all the things I needed to get accomplished by weeks end so I’d know what I still had to get done.

She is sort of looking down to her hands, which are busy folding toilet paper. Meanwhile, in the room next door - our break room - I hear someone turn the water on at the sink. Moments later, there is this little “trickling noise” as the water runs through the pipes in the wall separating the two rooms.
Luby looks over at me with this rather incredulous expression and says, “Did you just PEE in your pants??”

I started laughing and said “NO!”

She said, “But I HEARD it!”

I got so tickled but the absurdity of it…. like I stand around and pee in my pants just any ole’ time the urge hits - I think I might could have peed then!!!

2) Conversation overheard in the car:
Mumblings… not real sure what was being discussed. Until I hear Beebo say: “He does NOT do that at the reception!”

Luby says, “Yeah he does, Mom told me! YOU just don’t know!”, so smug because she knows something before Beebo does.

“NO, I think you have it wrong.”
Very indignant, Luby says, “I DO NOT. Let’s just ASK her.”

“Mom - tell Beebo how the man reaches up under her dress and grabs her garden right in front of everyone.”

“HUH??” I say, always the last one to ‘get it’. Duh.

Luby, impatient with my stupidity, repeats it - like I hadn’t heard her… not that I just didn’t understand what she was saying! “You TOLD me Mom that the man reaches up under her dress and grabs her garden right there with everyone WATCHING! Then he throws it to all the single guys in the group!!!”

Comprehension dawned on me! “OHHHHH, you mean her garter…. not her garden!!” (So NOT what I was thinking!)

Beebo, who’d been listening to this exchange between Luby and I says, “Wait Mom…. are you saying he REALLY does reach up under her dress?? Ewwww that’s disgusting - why in the world would he want to do that??”

I have no answer for that.

The girls got new wedding dress outfits from “Build-a-Bear” not long before that conversation. With all the accouterments, including garters. Duh.

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