Revolutionary Road
Posted by Dory @ Lucky Dorito on Monday, June 8th, 2009
Summary courtesy of IMDB:
It’s 1955. Frank and April Wheeler, in the seventh year of their marriage, have fallen into a life that appears to most as being perfect. They live in the Connecticut suburbs with two young children. Frank commutes to New York City where he works in an office job while April stays at home as a housewife. But they’re not happy. April has forgone her dream of becoming an actress, and Frank hates his job – one where he places little effort – although he has never figured out what his passion in life is. One day, April suggests that they move to Paris – a city where Frank visited during the war and loved, but where April has never been – as a means to rejuvenate their life. April’s plan: she would be the breadwinner, getting a lucrative secretarial job for one of the major international organizations, while Frank would have free time to find himself and whatever his passion. Initially skeptical, Frank ultimately agrees to April’s plan. When circumstances change around the Wheelers, April decides she will do whatever she has to to get herself out of her unhappy existence.
Now those of you that have read my blog for a while, you know that I don’t really do a “movie review”. I like to share my thoughts on movies I’ve seen, but more on how they make me feel or think – then a critique of the movie.
I was really looking forward to this movie – after Titanic and the awesome chemisty between Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio, I couldn’t wait to see them together again. But this movie left such a different feeling in me than the rich love story of Titanic.
I’ve thought a lot about it since I saw it. I don’t want to ruin it for you if you plan to see it but haven’t yet, so you might want to quit reading now because although I’ll try to be elusive, I don’t want to slip in a spoiler. Consider yourself warned. 
There is only one word that comes to mind to describe the overall feeling of this movie – despair. They lived in a time when things were on the hush-hush, you didn’t talk about mental illness or cancer or marital issues. You just put on a happy face and pretended all was well. That being said, I suppose we all realize that the feeling of despair transcends the decades. I know this – because I remember being in a marriage that was strained and unhappy. And…. I know the feeling of despair. I know feeling as if you can’t take another day. I remember feeling as if you were living someone else’s life – because …. this couldn’t be YOURS. I remember trying to fake love, hoping it would come if I pretended hard enough. I remember it all. I can so relate to April.
And I remember walking away from that marriage 20 years ago.
Sometimes I hate that I didn’t try harder to salvage that marriage, those vows. But then I realize if I hadn’t …. I wouldn’t be sharing my life with my precious Mr. Lucky now.
But here’s the rub: Even with Mr. Lucky, I remember several years ago when we hit a rough patch. Things were strained and unpleasant between us, as we both struggled with jobs and kids and life in general. But there was a huge difference between the rough patch (if you can call it that) in my first marriage and the rough patch in my second marriage.
Jesus was the difference.
I didn’t know God’s love in my first marriage. I didn’t know of His infinite grace. I didn’t know Him.
What a difference He made in me.
What a difference He made in our marriage.
I don’t know that it’s possible to reach those depths of despair when you know Him. It isn’t for me, not now. I was struck by the fact there wasn’t a single mention of church or faith or God in the movie. How many marriages dissolve for all the wrong reasons? I’m living proof that it happens …. I was so much more prepared the second time around.
Thank you, Lord.
P.S. Told you it wasn’t much of a review. 
But boy oh boy – did it make me THINK!
Filed in Memory Lane Mondays,Movie News | 5 dorito bits so far
BEKon 08 Jun 2009 at 2:34 pm 1Another movie that shows this 1950s despair/hush hush life and that is the movie Married Life. Matt and I made an additional vow after being married for a few years…the vow of spending money on counseling if we start having issues. We also are looking into counseling even in the good times as we are going through so much transitions right now
. We never use the “D” word as a threat when we fight. The “D” word is not used because it is not an option in our marriage.
Revolutionary Road and Married Life are both very similar- though I will tell you that Married Life has a silver lining a little thicker than Revolutionary Road.
Doryon 08 Jun 2009 at 7:34 pm 2@Bek – So wise of you to agree beforehand on counseling, if ever needed. We had done the same – we also had premarital counseling before our wedding. As a result of that, we went home and gathered every dictionary we owned and used a permanent marker to block out the “D” word – literally removing the word from our vocabulary long before we said our vows.
Nonetheless, that didn’t keep us from encountering trouble after about 7 years of marriage. Although we were struggling, the “D” word was never an option (or a thought even entertained) for either of us… and we were quick to seek a wise Christian counselor to help us navigate the murky waters. We emerged stronger and happier.
That’s why the movie made me think about my first marriage and the things I didn’t do. I was a different person then. I’m very thankful to have grown up.
BEKon 09 Jun 2009 at 11:17 am 3I like the idea of the black marker- though being married to an English teacher defacing a dictionary might cause a tiff!
Isn’t it crazy how there are certain seasons in marriage- around the 3-5 mark and the 7yr mark. That’s as far I have encountered so that is as far as I can speak. The fact is they are seasons- everyone seems to go through them- even if it is minor or major!
We all grow up and mature, though divorce is a very sad, emotionally engaged, messy, messy encounter I am so happy to see where people have allowed God to work for the good in their situations- I am watching it right now with a very close person in my life (married very young without seeking family advice, now issues with some physical and emotional issues as well as dishonesty in financial issues). Thankfully she is now receiving family support and going back to school!
I am so glad to see how your testimony can bless others!
Doryon 09 Jun 2009 at 12:46 pm 4@ Bek – Well, speaking of seasons…. my sister-in-law told me once that after the 10 year mark – everything gets easier. That was during the early years for us, before trouble struck, and I remember thinking “ummm…. don’t believe it, don’t believe it” during the rough patch. But, we’ll celebrate our 15th anniversary this year and it’s true. All those little things that seemed so big years ago are gone now.
As for testimony – thank you. I think you and I are the only ones that read this post.
BEKon 10 Jun 2009 at 10:41 am 5Congratulations on 15 years! December will be 8 for us!
As for testimony- my tracker amazes me. There are people who may not comment; but have re-read or first time readers of posts from months ago. Who knows who might read this later- maybe no comments; but I would hope and pray that we gave them some peace or encouragement