Lucky Dorito

I do stupid things all the time. Seriously. I wonder where my head is some days…. this is just a random sampling of my life.

1. Since my hubby’s clinic recently moved temporarily into the empty space in the same building as my office, we’ve been having lunch together nearly every day. (That makes me beyond happy!) One day, we’d left together in my van and he drove us home. As we were leaving the house, I went toward the passenger door of the van and passed right by it…. only as I got to the back of the van – and saw the EMPTY driveway did I realize what I’d done. I turned around and headed back toward the passenger door (trying to be nonchalant) and I saw my husband – on the other side of the van, looking through the windows, apparently watching me. He opened the drivers side door at the same time I was opening the door on my side. I shrugged my shoulders. He shook his head and said, “I am really starting to worry about you.” How many times has he said that to me?
2. One day recently, I treated one of my favorite gentleman patients. He is witty and fast-thinking and always a joy to have in the chair. He usually tells us jokes while he’s around – as he is an old, long-time friend of one of the doctors and they always cut-up together. He recently had a death in his family and was very subdued this visit, a side of him I hadn’t seen before. We were discussing toothpaste preferences as he was preparing to leave. He said that he didn’t like to share his toothpaste with his kids because they never put the top back on the tube and it drives him nuts! I told him he should get them their OWN toothpaste tubes so he doesn’t have to share his tube and can keep it the way he likes it. I went on to share that my hubby and I use different brands of toothpaste, which originally began as a taste preference thing but works out well because my husband likes the tube to be squeezed from the bottom UP and I never did that to his satisfaction. I said, “I am NOT a bottom-squeezer.” As the words left my mouth, I realized what I said and was thinking…. “Oh I hope he did not hear that!” as he was walking away, out the door. He stopped dead in his tracks and turned around to look at me. He smiled real big and said, “That did NOT sound good.” hehe I laughed out loud and said, “I was just hoping that you DID NOT hear that!” He grinned and said… “OH, I heard it! And now your face is turning 10 shades of red!” It is true. I embarrassed myself. But, he got a good laugh out of it so I suppose, considering the somber mood he’d been it that it was worth it!
3. One day, after briefly mentioning to a coworker that I thought I was losing my mind – because of the plague of dumb things I’d done lately – I did another one that confirmed to me that I MUST BE losing it. I was making a phone call to a sales rep one day when I had a brief moment between patients. I sat down and was routing through all the company automated messages, waiting to get to his voicemail. Meanwhile, I thought I’d glance at the computer screen to see the schedule, checking to see if my patient had arrived yet. I grabbed the mouse and moved it around. The cursor sat stationary, unmoving. I rolled it some more. Nothing – no movement. I tapped the mouse on the desktop, thinking “what is WRONG with this thing?” and then picked it up to look at the little ball on the underside of a mouse. When I did, I realized why it didn’t work. It wasn’t the mouse in my hand…. but the cell phone of one of my coworkers, laying there on the desk. DUH.
4. You know….. I’ve exhorted over this stupid moment before – because I have done THIS more than once. So again – a word to the wise: Never ever plop down in a chair that is on WHEELS without hanging on to it. What happens when it rolls out from under you is NOT PRETTY. I’m just sayin’.
5. The stupid moment that takes the cake this week can be summed up in just a few words: poison ivy, face, itches. Don’t ask.

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