Lucky Dorito

As I was working Wednesday, I was thinking about my patients and how the way they respond to treatment, which sort of DICTATES how I respond to them. A true cause and effect type thing. I honestly LOVE my profession and the opportunity that we as dental hygienists have to really impact the lives of patients. I am honored that patients entrust their care to me year after year. I can’t think of a single other health care professional that people see routinely for an entire hour of time, strictly one on one time. We have the capabilities and the knowledge to do so much more than just *pick your teeth clean* – if you’ve got a good dental hygienist, that is. You might find this totally BORING but… it’s my life!

Thirteen Types of Dental Patients

1. The Sullen

This is the patient that was forced to be there, usually a teen who’s mom or dad MADE them come. They sit with their arms crossed, grunt their answers to my questions and are basically just mad at the world. Sometimes I can’t help but be annoyed with this type. I sometimes have to leave the room to clear my head and remind myself it’s NOT personal. I love trying to open them up, sometimes with just the music I am playing in the background. Sometimes just by being quiet and letting them be themselves. Usually, they draw themselves out if I leave them be. It’s turns out to be a fabulous visit.

2. The Sad

This is the patient that radiates unhappiness. Everything about them is sad – and it breaks my heart. They hang their head low, they avoid eye contact, and they just seem as if life has beaten them down. It makes me want to comfort them on some level, other than as a dental practitioner – I want to wrap them in a hug and remind them life can be better. I usually stay quiet unless they initiate conversation – I’m often praying while I work on them.

3. The Serious

Generally this type of patient is a man, very businesslike. (Not that women can’t be this way.) They are on a tight schedule – just want to get it over with and move on to the next thing. They question and analyze everything, not so much as to be involved in their treatment – but more to figure out which little compartment THIS falls in in their “grand scheme of things”. I do NOT identify with this type of “planner” but I understand it and TRY to be accommodating! It’s not easy since I am a true fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of gal!!

4. The Sympathetic

This is the patient that seems much more concerned about ME and HOW my day is going then in themselves. Generally a “grandmotherly” type of person who has spent her entire life caring for others and needs to “take care of me” to feel as if all is right in her world. I appreciate this type of person being so sweet to ME but I desperately try to turn the tables and make this time all about THEM. It’s their moment to be pampered and “put first”.

5. The Shaky

This is the patient that is a bundle of nerves. They shake the ENTIRE time I am working on them. Not huge uncontrollable shaking but enough so that it’s noticeable to me. I try to take lots of time and be a very calming spirit to this person, so as not to aggravate their nervousness. Having dealt with my fair share of *panic* issues lately, I strive to calm and relax them, above all else.

6. The Squeamish

This is the patient that is totally grossed out by the level of plague that is in their mouth, when I show them. They begin to complain about their tummy hurting, just knowing it’s there. And yet, the plague is in THERE every day from not brushing well enough but after multiple visits, when we’ve discussed this before the plague level does not improve. I have this sort of sick desire to pull out the really icky stuff and SHOW them, with the bright light making the chunks of plague impossible to miss. I love “shock value” because sometimes – it’s the ONLY thing that makes an impact. (I don’t mean for that to sound HARSH or mean… but sometimes it is necessary for impact.)

7. The Sweetheart

This is a patient that I have bonded with and dearly love. I care about their well-being and their families and I can’t help but ask after them. Some of these Sweethearts have become more my friend than a “patient” over time. I love to see someone like this on the schedule! These are the people that remind that I am making a difference in this world, one mouth at a time. Sounds silly, but it’s true.

8. The Stickyfinger

This is the patient that would take anything that is not nailed down. Seriously. Who would think about coming into a dental office and stealing toothbrushes, toothpastes, floss boxes, pamphlets, post-it notes, toys intended for little ones, or anything else they can reasonably get their hands on when I’m not looking? (Why STEAL it? We GIVE that stuff out anyway!) As you can imagine, this type patient keeps me on my toes! Thankfully, we don’t have many of them. (Last year, someone stole the MIRROR off the wall in the womens restroom. How bizarre is that?)

9. The Sick

This is a patient that called in sick to work – who is genuinely sick but yet, STILL come to the office!! They don’t think anything of the fact that I am IN their MOUTH, where a hotbed of germs live and they are coughing and snorting and sneezing the whole time! This is frustrating to me. I want to tell them: Please, if you are too sick to go to work –   reschedule! I do NOT want what you have! On that note, let me say – some of you know I’ve been sick this week. But the difference – I wear a MASK. ALL DAY LONG. I don’t want to share my germs with patients or coworkers so I keep my mask on all day. ‘Cept for when I’m taking a sip of coffee! lol)

10. The Sadistic

This is the patient that says “My gums are NOT tender. Make it hurt.” They are far and few between. But they never flinch or bat an eye. Which always amazes the heck outta me!

11. The Solemn

This is the patient that knows they are lacking in home-care habits. And I barely have to say anything before they are confessing their “lack of” and reprimanding themselves. This one is hard to motivate to change their habits because they are so quick to nod in agreement but they really AREN’T hearing me.

12. The Seldom Brushes

This is the patient that probably aggravates me the WORST. We’re talking nothing but sheer laziness here. It’s not that they don’t know HOW to do better home-care of their oral cavity, it’s that they just DO. NOT. CARE. I will never understand this type patient. Nor will I ever be able to let it go without a fight. I still try to explain WHY and HOW and WHEN and all that jazz. Always with hope for a brighter dental future. That also seldom happens. In my area of the country, there is an extremely high incidence of edentulous people. I want to see that trend eradicated.

13. The Closet Dentist

This is one that cracks me up. For some silly reason, it cracks me up when someone says “I don’t have any cavities.” I usually ask, “Oh really? And where did you go to dental school?” Hehehe. Ok, kidding, I don’t ask that but I THINK it! Unless it’s a BIG hole in a tooth, 9 times out of 10 – you can have a cavity for quite a while before you have pain with it. There are lots of factors that affect how rapidly an area of decay advances, but usually it is NOT a quick thing. That is why we take radiographs annually, to see in between your teeth (which we can’t see clinically) and yet still be able to catch small new areas of decay. But for patients to tell ME what they do or don’t have happening in their mouth when they can’t even SEE in there – just makes me laugh. How many times do you go to the doctor and tell him what your diagnosis is? I mean, WHY would you even bother going if you KNEW what was wrong with you?

** P.S.  I thought of a few more already this morning: The Nervous Giggler (just what you’d expect… they laugh the WHOLE time but not because they are having fun!), The Stinky (that’s pretty self-explanatory), and The Social Butterfly (this is the one that I can’t hardly work on for them wanting to *visit* with all the staff at the office! Very sweet but hard to work on).

So now, which one would you say YOU are?

Ya’ll have a great Thursday! Get out and do something FUN!

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