Weird little noises….
Posted by Lucky Dorito on Saturday, June 28th, 2008
I seriously hoped that part of the noises I heard in my van on the way to Texas were truly JUST IN MY HEAD… because there were certainly times I was STRESSING a wee bit (heavy traffic, chattering girls, lots of sudden braking and … do NOT even get me started on the spaghetti roads!) but…. it was NOT. I pretty much parked when I arrived and didn’t move my van again until it was time to leave - riding in Shannon’s car all week (which means she did all the driving!:) )
But…. long before I ever got to Austin and the airport - I heard it. As a matter of fact, by the time we stopped at the gas station in a neighboring town to gas up my van (and buy a *Bull Farts* candle that smelled divine) before heading out - I heard it. Just knowing Shannon was nearby and that my hubby would be with me soon - was enough to make me feel better about it though. So… I just put the petal to the metal and kept going.
Those of you that know me, know I have a bit of anxiety at times… like that glorious experience at the IMAX theater last year in Huntsville, Alabama - at the Space and Rocket Center. (All that ginormous movie playing on a dome-type screen, all around me… just about made me hyperventilate for some bizarre reason…. actually, it was a cross between hyperventilating or throwing up. I didn’t know which it was going to be but I just about lost it there that day. That was truly the FIRST ever anxiety attack (or whatever you want to call it) I’ve ever had and I prayed that it would be my last but, sadly that is not the case. Had my husband not been there to talk me through it, I seriously don’t know what would have happened.)
So fast forward to this trip: I have realized over the past year that there are a few other things that make me a little anxious but nothing that I can’t handle. Or…. so I thought.
The biggest challenge for me comes from things *height* related… I’ve always been very uncomfortable with heights - ladders, bleachers, can’t look out the window from a high-rise building, just stuff like that. (But that didn’t stop my hubby from talking me into a parasailing ride above Cancun on our honeymoon! I told him afterwards he couldn’t complain about all those fingernail gouges in his arm because he KNEW I was going to be freaking out a little!) But… driving through Dallas, when I reached what I call the *spaghetti roads* which is where all the various highways overlap and turn this way and that to get you to your connecting highway. This is not my picture but I found it online to show you what I mean:
Image credited to: www.flickr.com/photos/borkazoid/77869337/
Ok, so…. picture me driving along, stressing a wee bit already because of the sheer volume of traffic (I am such a small-town girl nowadays) and off in the distance, I see this coming up. I also know I’m looking for a different highway so I assume I might possibly be on one of these things and I began to break out in a sweat. I was gripping the steering wheel so hard it’s a wonder it didn’t snap in two! As I started across one… it was curving under another and over one…. I was chanting in my head *just look at the road… just look at the road… just look at the road* telling myself to NOT look over to the side and see DOWN… because I knew that would be too much! My heart was racing, I was sweating and shaking and part of my head was screaming STOP STOP STOP … (umm…. yeah right. Like I could just STOP right there on the highway???) I thought of two other blogging women from that area and I started telling myself, *Joisey and Kat drive this every day.. I can do this. Joisey and Kat drive this every day… I can do this.* So that thought, coupled with forcing myself to NOT divert my eyes from the little patch of road just in front of the van are what got me through there. Now, in reality, I have NO stinkin idea of Joisey and Kat have to maneuver those roads in their daily commute to work but just telling myself they did certainly helped!
Sheesh. I realize this makes me sound like a nutcase (or a *nutbob* as Luby calls it) but it was truly nerve-wracking for me. Undoubtably the worst part of the whole trip. Well, until I got to Austin a few hours later. There were more *spaghetti roads* to navigate. 
But… I did it.
It makes me wonder, from a practical side - is anxiety something that continues to build? Affecting more and more areas of your life? I really have no idea - I’ve driven all over the place, including multiple foreign countries and this was certainly a first and totally unexpected. Do any of you have similar issues and any suggestions for me?
Needless to say, my hubby drove through all that junk on the way home! 
Hallelujah! He has a meeting in San Antonio next summer so… we’ll be making the drive again. And meeting up with Shannon again then too. Love having something to look forward to!
PS. He thinks that the noise is somehow related to our *brakes*… lovely. So glad I didn’t know that or I might really have been anxious! lol
Filed in Life, Me, Traveling Dory |
Josh Maxwellon 28 Jun 2008 at 9:31 pm 1I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the good work. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.
Shannonon 29 Jun 2008 at 5:57 am 2Oh Dory I know how stressful all that driving in the spaghetti roads was for you and I am so very sorry. I hate that because of your trip to see ME you had to experience even more anxiety episodes. I’m so sorry!
No no…. don’t worry. It was ALL me and my issues…. and the only point in writing about it was to see if anyone else has similar anxiety issues and how they might deal with them. Don’t feel bad…. really. You already heard me say I’d do it AGAIN if I get to see YOU!
Beccaon 29 Jun 2008 at 10:05 am 3You know, I have never heard of them called “spaghetti roads” but it does fit. We have a lot of them here in the Portland area. That is why I hate driving through Portland, and Mitch does! Glad that you made it home safe. I am sorry that it might be the brakes, but hopefully it isn’t a terribly expensive fix. But a girl with that many miles on her, is going to need some tender loving care. Her feet get tired, too!
True, so true.. she is an old girl with a LOT of miles on her. But…. her feet were JUST massaged before I left. I think that Mr. Mechanic didn’t do *something* correctly.
Jeanon 29 Jun 2008 at 12:07 pm 4I hate the Dallas spaghetti roads, too!! I get anxiety attacks on the Dallas highway system, also..I have since I was in college! And my folks lived down there for a while.. so I drove it a lot.. but it still, now, causes that anxiety.. I think it’s all what we get used to. But, I know that system is just sooooooooo confusing that it’s worse than anywhere else! Even Mobile and New Orleans didn’t do that to me!! It’s the Texas highways.. I don’t really think it’s heights for me.. cause I can freak out without actually being on the spaghetti, yet! My bff used to talk me through there, or make me stop so she would drive it!!LOL I have to have it totally quiet, no music, no talking! I never have this problem anywhere but there! I’m so glad to know others have the same trouble! Glad your hubby was there to drive them going back! Next time, try to map it out to avoid them…:)
hugs,
Jean
Wow… really Jean? I didn’t realize that Dallas roads were WORSE then others… I just thought it was because it has been YEARS since I was exposed to that kind of overlapping spaghetti roads and I didn’t use to have ANY anxiety issues. I guess we’ll know the next time I end up in another big city. But… that being said - I do know that I will TRY to avoid them from now on anyway!
Tracieon 29 Jun 2008 at 8:47 pm 5I am SO there with you! I don’t deal with heights or heavy traffic. I received an e-mail, it was this mountain with this walking path built into the side of the mountain, and there was just this little bar rail on the side and alot of the path was missing, anyway this person video taped their hike and I couldn’t get through it. My heart started beating really fast, butterflys in my tummy and my breath was coming in bursts, I got dizzy and finally had to shut it off.
Oh my goodness Tracie! That sounds soooo like something I would do - watching a video and stressin’ over it! Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone in this kind of anxiety!
Doryon 30 Jun 2008 at 5:25 am 6Yeah…. the brakes. Did I mention that I JUST had the van worked on before I left for Texas? Me thinks maybe something was NOT done correctly… now there’s a scary thought.
annon 02 Jul 2008 at 2:36 am 7I don’t know why, but I freak out about things way more now, as I get older. Stuff bothers me that never did before… I don’t know why, but yeah, I worry that it will just get worse and worse and one day I’ll be some crazy lady afraid to leave the house….
Yeah but…. if that DID happen… you’d still have contact with all of us!
Katon 07 Jul 2008 at 10:14 am 8The last two weeks at work have been hellacious so I am just catching up only to find that you drove THROUGH DALLAS AND DIDN’T STOP TO MEET US! I’m crushed! FYI - Kat does NOT drive on those bridges everyday, she drives MILES out her way to AVOID those bridges because she is deathly afraid of them!!!
I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were driving through - hmptph!